I know you're not going to believe me. But you must. This is a survey I found on some random website. It is no longer there, but I have preserved it in all its scary glory for your immediate incomprehension. This is copied, VERBATIM.


What is best in life?

1) A good healthy poopy.

2) To see you enemies driven before you and to hear the lamination of their women.

3) The song birds singing, and your ferret trying to make sweet weazel love to your foot.

4) Finding the stain in your underwear looks like the Virgin Mary and selling it on ebay for 200 grand.

5) Coffee and Morning Wood: Two great tastes that go great together.


I've heard of the shrink-wrap fetish. (Tightly bound women in nothing more than shrink-wrap.) But lamination?!

I know that this is rather lowbrow compared to my normal posts, but I just couldn't wrap my brain around what in the world the author was thinking in order to create this survey. I would just like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT WANT TO MEET THE PERSON who agrees that all five are good things in their life.


Faderhead - Accession Records Vol 3 - BASSGOD

7

you'll never take me alive

My dear "little" Anya is, fortunately, a heavy sleeper. For today, she woke up garbed as a pirate. I even gave her a cardboard sword. I would have loved to take a picture, but she systematically destroys every camera she sees. I will admit that I am overwhelmingly male - I gave her low-cut, skin-tight leather shorts (with tail-hole), a high-cut altered top, and knee-high, polished, stiletto, leather boots for her pirate costume. To top it all off, a red-bandana hat with holes for her pointy ears.

Mr. Warlock, Mr. Fisk, you two should have been there. The three of us would have been staring, jaws swinging wide open, incapable of forming linear thought for at least an hour.

"I don't mind you dressing me up, but what's the occasion?"

I gestured to the computer screen and smiled, "Have a seat and read what is transpiring."

I helped her out as the article author used quite a few words she didn't know. In a moment of absolute cuteness, she turned to me and said, "They're monsters."

I slid a "reward" strip of bacon into her mouth, "That's my girl."

Here's what the article said, in my own brief words. The Copyright Royalty Board (CRB) is going to raise the royalty rates that all Internet radio stations (or webcasters) have to pay for the ability to broad cast songs BY 300 to 1,200 PERCENT.

That's TRIPLE, to DODECAPLE (yes, that is the correct word) the amount that all Internet radio stations have to pay for the ability to play songs. Most of these Internet stations are run by people who simply do it for the love of music - they don't make anything approaching the money that a public radio station does. Now, the CRB wants to take all that money away. And here's the real cruncher. Are you ready?

THE BILL IS RETROACTIVE TO JANUARY 1ST, 2006!! THAT'S TWO YEARS OF PAYMENT DUE ON JULY 15TH!! (When the bill is supposed to be voted upon.)

Amusingly, while although the CRB is a government institution - staffed by JUDGES selected by nobody less than THE LIBRARIAN OF CONGRESS - the organization that influenced them into pursuing this rate increase for online radios is a "nonprofit performance rights organization" by the name of SoundExchange. Once again, more lobbying from private firms influences the government.

This bill only affects the United States - for the moment. This means that U.K. based "Last.fm" is unaffected - for the moment. SoundExchange has a number of agreements with foreign royalty institutions, and already, the Phonographic Performance Limited (PPL) of the U.K.

What does this mean for you and me? A near, if not TOTAL disappearance of what you once cherished as an interactive, ad-free music delivery service. ALSO, FOR ALL YOU BLOGSTREAM WRITERS THAT PUT THOSE LITTLE MP3s IN YOUR BLOG POSTS - YOU'LL EITHER HAVE TO START PAYING FOR THOSE, OR THEY WILL BE YANKED FOREVER BECAUSE THE HOST WON'T BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE ROYALTY COSTS. Consider that Internet radio stations expose people to thousands of artists you would never have heard of through normal public radio, and potentially millions of songs that either will not or cannot be played on public radio.

Here's the relevant websites:

http://www.computerworld.com/action/article.do?command=viewArticleBasic&articleId=9016959
(this is where you can find a summary article)

http://www.loc.gov/crb/
(the Copyright Royalty Board website)

http://www.soundexchange.com/about/about.html
(the SoundExchange website; their "about" page)

http://www.loc.gov/about/
(the Librarian of Congress)

http://www.savenetradio.org/
(a place to make a potential difference for the fate of Internet radio)

Of course, you can call your congressperson and senators, or you can pursue the Seven Is Darker method of striking back. Anya was so happy to finally understand. She raised her cardboard sword triumphantly, "American Pirate Internet Radio!!"

I held up a hand, "Only if the bill passes. There's still a chance."

Anya clenched her hands together in excitement, "Oh, you Americans always find a way to make your lives worse than before. And then I will finally be able to claim my pirate BOOTY!!" A sharp slap hit me in the butt. I could only stare incredulously, "You... you beat a man to a sexist joke! That's incredible! That's... arousing!"

She crossed her arms and smirked, "I knew you were going to say it at some point. Now that it is over with, we eat!"

I have seconds before Anya yanks me into the kitchen. Keep in mind Blogstreamers, those MP3s on your blogs are affected by this.



The Clash - The Singles - Complete Control

7

i'll show them all

As you all may know, today we pamper the women who bothered to have us or are currently bothering to have more people. In a classical picture from the 1950's we would see the rosy-cheeked children delivering breakfast in bed to their awakening mothers (who had perfect hair in the morning too) accompanied by the grinning father who usually had flowers and chocolate.

I woke up at five am, with my arms and legs tied ever so tightly to each corner of the bed.

And on all fours over me, was Anya DEAREST, smirking at me in a most satisfied fashion. "Roust, delicious one!" (That's her new term of endearment for me - apparently my blood tastes really good.) "As you were so thoughtful to get me to qualify for the celebration of Mother's Day, I shall return your kindness. Everything I want from you will not cost you any money. I don't want a card, I don't want chocolates, I don't want flowers, and I definitely do not want jewelry."

It was definitely refreshing to hear that. I did guess that those didn't fit her ideas of celebration anyway.

"But, what I do want, for the rest of the day, and until the end of the day, is to see your transformed self. You have no idea how pretty you look." She smirked even wider and leaned into my face, "Besides, that's the only way you're going to be able to get out of these ropes."

Clever girl. I blanked out over the next few minutes, and awoke to a snuggling Anya.

I'm not going to go into the details of what happened over the rest of the day, because I would like it if my blog doesn't get labeled as obscene. But what I will say is that much like I had promised before, she wanted me to be her "little servant" all day. There was work, there was pleasure, there was music.

What I can tell you is that she wanted me to sing to her. There's a very specific song in my collection that is just too freaky coincidental for Anya to pass up. I was hoping to hide the song from her, because I knew she would never stop asking me to sing it. And, of course, she found it.

So, to end the day, I snugged up with Anya in bed, and I sang (with a low growl in my voice, just like Ronny Moorings) the song, "I Want You Now."

"Sometimes I find in dreams, a whole new religion,
Your body looks like Heaven, I must be in number seven.
For an obvious reason, I am deep in your debt,
For an apparent reason I stay in bed.
I want you now, I want you now!

My body floats in Heaven, in the palm of your hand,
My body floats like Heaven, a flaming warmth in my head.

If the world and love were young, and truth on every tongue,
The harshest pill to swallow, is the hole in your soul.
Someone somewhere is crying, you surely have a point,
I’ve got no reason for lying, I've reached the boiling point,
I want you now. I want you now!

My body floats in Heaven, in the palm of your hand,
My body floats like Heaven, a flaming warmth in my head.

Love me, love me not,
We stay up late and time has stopped,
I meet your eyes, starry skies,
Feed my dream, feed my dream,
I want it now!

All the walls tumble down, fall in pieces around us now,
All the walls tumble down, fall in pieces around us now,
Someone, somewhere wants you now.
I want you now!"


I'm going back to bed, where a smiling, sleeping Anya awaits me.


Clan Of Xymox - Notes From The Underground - I Want You Now

7

happy mother's day

I mentioned that I would be moving whatever thoughts and knowledge I have about my favorite non-mainstream over to "Seven Is What?" Well - NOW WE START!!

While I'm not going to start with a song preview, I'm going to list some of my favorite lines from my collection of lesser-heard bands.

"The ones with the power will always win."
[[Day Behavior - CLUBANTHEMS2 - Devil In Me]]

"A new day is coming....And I AM FULL OF LIFE!!!"
[[30 Seconds To Mars - A Beautiful Lie - Attack]]

"Space man... I always wanted you to go into... Space man!!"
[[Babylon Zoo - The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes - Spaceman]] {{Anybody who remembers this song, SAY SOMETHING. I'm probably the only guy left who A) heard this song in 1996, and B) is the only person who has the album.}}

"Say something, make believe! I hold my hands up, and you're raining down on me! To the point of disbelief! I need water, and you're raining down on me!"
[[Monochrome - Collapse And Sever - Riveted]] {{This is a great project. This is the guy from cut.rate.box and the gal from Claire Voyant}}

"Mirror in the bathroom, please don't break. The door is locked just you and me. Gonna take you to a restaurant that's got fast tables, you can watch yourself while you are eating."
[[The English Beat - I Just Can't Stop It - Mirror In The Bathroom]]

And, of course, something everyone can get behind:

"We all need someone to hold,
we all need to have a home,
we all need to speak our hearts,
we all need a little love."
[[Informatik - Re:vision - Revolutions]]


LSG - Psychotrance 2001 - I'm Not Existing

7 <-----(I am still the man with the sunglasses)

submit now

I still go to the gym. I have lots of reasons to. I want to be healthy. I also know that "gym" is short for "gymnasium." Which, if you look back to its Greek roots, "gymnazein," means, "exercise naked." AND THAT PLEASES ME TO NO END.

Plus, Anya sneaks in (human form, of course, and she has her own leotard which she thinks I gave to her out of the kindness of my own heart ) and then starts running on the treadmill RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. The hypnotic state from watching firm gluteus rise and fall, renders me incapable of thinking of how much pain I'm in; because somewhere in the rising and falling, my hands have slipped on the electrical elliptical exercise machine, jogged the controls, and now I'm running uphill at level 20.

But that's not why I'm posting, even though that's what interested me the most.

I go to this very nice LA Fitness gym - and I mean "WHOA!" kind of gym. Clean, full of new machines, two-story with Olympic pool, a full-sized basketball court, several racquetball courts, and an "event" room for whatever special exercise seminar they have going on. They even have a supervised day-care with a giant plasma screen TV for the kids.

On the upper level, they have a dozen 40" Sony Bravia LCD TVs for the joggers and bicyclers. These TVs all have high-level cable access. In order to keep the sound down, each of those LCDs are fitted with FM radio transmitters with different frequencies, so if you want to listen to the TV, just bring in a radio and tune it to the right station.

Now, because my favorite station is usually rise and fall, rise and fall, I never bring in a radio, or for that matter, care what's on the screens. However, one night, as I was between rise and fall, I managed to turn my frozen neck to look at the TVs. Apparently, FOX NEWS on station 12 has decided to show a little more truth in their broadcasts.

During certain segments of their coverage, the anchor or anchoret's name will be supplemented with the subtitle, "News Control."

What, you don't believe me? You don't believe that FOX actually has the two words, "News Control" underneath the anchor or anchoret's names? I'd say check it out yourselves, but even in small doses, FOX NEWS causes cancer.

"NEWS....CONTROL."

"NEWS."

"CONTROL."

I smile for a whole lot of reasons these days.


Iris - Disconnect - Endless

7

my guinea pigs are all on lsd