For those of you who have been following my lengthy excuses for not writing or joining in chat: I'm here to inform you that I have finished the formatting part of my backup project. The hardest part is over with. I now only have to do the straight information dump for the rest of the data.

I know that this is a long story, and it is detailed in some of my previous posts (Egg-Shaped Cars), (Happy Birthday Brick), (Surprise!! You're Dead!!!), (Love And Hate, War And Peace). A great weight has been lifted off of me.

If you think I'm happy now, just wait until I complete the ENTIRE BACKUP PROJECT. We'll have to go beyond naked rampaging. I'll have plenty of time during the backup project to consider what would be more exuberant than a naked rampage.

In the meantime, I'll cool my brain with microbrews, and sit in my overlord's chair in the company of the sweaty vixen barbarians. I know many of you have been awaiting my explanation of the sweaty vixen barbarians. The situation is that if I write about them, they will be forced by tribal law to make me into a sex slave. While although that may seem very, VERY, appealing - keep in mind that would take me away from the computer, and thusly - the blogging.

Next on Seven Is Darker - The Red Bell Pepper Story

The Killers - Hot Fuss - Jenny Was A Friends Of Mine

7

run like the machine

I was doing my normal diabolical planning and assorted insane things today (around 12:15 AM), when the very strong scent of popcorn wafted through my windows.

Now, normally, I don't really pay attention to the going-ons around my residence. But this time, I was intrigued by the popcorn.

Apparently, there's this group of morbidly curious people who congregate at night and sit and stare up at my window, listening to me giggle and point at the computer screen. There's even this little kid with a camcorder who genuinely believes that I come from Andromeda. He's hoping that someday I'll rip off my face and he'll be vindicated.

Tonight, they were popping popcorn - I don't know why - in celebration of my own mirth. I was watching some old comedies and devising new ways to destroy people's complacency. I can't say I was doing much, but apparently it was a popcorn occasion!

In order to make them go away, especially so they wouldn't find my spaceship, I gave them enough scotch to make my "stuffing Dr. Phil with bread to see and hear the future" plan make plenty of sense. Needless to say, that was the end of the popcorn and the night.

And people think *I'M* creepy.

Moby - Play - Everloving

7

You like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To resist is hopeless. Your existence is meaningless without ice cream.

that clairvoyance and clairaudience could only be achieved by stuffing Dr. Phil with bread.

I don't have much time, I've got to get to the Franz Bread Outlet - and soon. I'll have to corner Dr. Phil with my army of guinea pigs in armored bulldozers. (Blog Post: Box Of Muf'n)

There was also mention of something about grated parmesean cheese, but I had to buy off the hobo with some vodka and hide the inebriated aliens before I heard the whole thing.

Heather Nova - Oyster - Walk This World

7 ____ <-----Me Resisting Drunk Hobo

i am the government man

As many of you know, I did a little blog post a while back, proclaiming my fondness for the Bulwer-Lytton awards and all those who participate in the contest for the worst starter sentence in a novel, ever. (Blog Post name is "Hoonbappawhochkintow!")

But now, not having enough of this contest, being deprived of all of the literary possibilities, I present unto you the Seven Is Darker Ending Line Omnibus! I can't really have a contest, because I have no money; and chances are, whatever I would think would be the best ending line is purely subjective.

So, I'll give you a few examples of ending lines I would love to see another author use, and then you fine people of Blogstream could submit your own!

"...and that is the story of how my clothes rebelled against me. The End."

"...only now we can put our fears of Dr. Toadlicker's weird spoon obsession behind us. The End."

"...and in the end, it was really only the Golden Retriever and his pet bowling ball that really knew what had happened. The End."

"...for now, the cucumber sandwich lives. The End."

"...and it turned out that deploying the Space CyberCow was the best thing to do; now we could all rest in peace under the Moooooooon."


Hard-Fi - The Stars of CCTV - The Cash Machine

7

flying across greased ice

P: Nowh zen. We go back to your childhood, and we are asking zee question, "What eez eet that makes you want to become world conquerer?"

A: It had to be that terrifying experiment with "Funyuns" and "Pez."

P: Ahhh yes....zee "Funyun" experiment. Nowh, zee whole point to zees therapy is to replace that wheech you have azzozziated with zee "Funyuns," wheeth zomething less negative.

A: Like what for instance? I mean, there's nothing about me or my life that is a dark reminder of my past.

P: What about zee black-leder gun-toting henchmen? Are zey really neccessary? I recommend replacing them with Sweedish bimbos. You know, "Bialystock and Bloom?" "Bialystock and Bloom?"

A: You recommend replacing my henchmen with bimbos? That might work.

P: (Sound of flesh ripping) Yoda, it is I.

A: Master Yoda? What happened to the psychologist with the bad German accent?

P: Bad audio dubbing, it was. Get jiggy with the bimbos, we must.

KLF - The White Room - The Church Of The KLF (Cybercosis RMX)

7

the north will rise