Everything is so much more fun with bread. Even right now there are a half dozen flaming (as in "on fire") waffles running about my apartment looking for a source of maple syrup. That's only because I shoved them all inside a two-slot toaster and set it to "9" (out of "9".)

There happens to be this Franz Factory Outlet store nearby Washington Square in Portland (well, technically Tigard). If you walk into that store with a $20 bill (helllooooooo Jackson!) you will be able to walk out of the store with enough bread and bread-related products to fill the entire trunk of a standard four-door sedan. And I mean FILL IT COMPLETELY.

So unless you find yourself in the movie, "Logan's Run," the only massive quantity of expiration dates you're going to find in your apartment will be this 10+ ft. pile of bread on the floor.

There's only one thing to do. And that's to get CREATIVE. (I know, I know, every time I say that word, Senators and Congresspeople scramble for cover.)

Stick a hilt on those French Sourdoughs and have your own Revolution. Those giant slingshots you can find at sports stores? Oooh looky here, I have several hundred dinner rolls! What a combo! And nothing says, "I'm prepared!" by creating a full suit of armor out of several dozen loaves of multi-grain bread.

With the proper application of jams and jellies, I could, theoretically, build myself a working car out of solid bread. It would probably only cost me about $60 at the Franz Outlet store. (It keeps rollin' rollin' rollin', keep them muffins rollin'....)

My only problem after writing a killer post like this is that I now have to go to work and be socially acceptable. Sigh.

The [International] Noise Conspiracy - The First Conspiracy - Abolish Work

7

catapulting the chicken

Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm having my second Jones Energy drink, and I've already lost my ability to spell multisyllabic words and to finish

But in all seriousness, my techno-savant side desires this blog space for an important, all-consuming issue that we will all be facing in the very-near-future.

[[Techno-Savant]]

Ahem. For many years I have considered the Philips Corporation (based in the Netherlands) one of the world's foremost advanced and competent companies. I usually buy Philips if there is a choice. But as of recent, Philips has patented a technology that infuriates me to the core, as will the lot of you.....

THEY HAVE DEVELOPED THE TECHNOLOGY THAT WILL ALLOW BROADCASTERS TO *FORCE* YOU TO WATCH COMMERCIALS. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SKIP THESE COMMERCIALS WITHOUT PAYING THE BROADCASTERS SUMS OF MONEY.

When the commercials come on, your television will be blocked from changing the channel. I'm fairly certain that there's more to this than what's being told, such as the disabling of the "mute" button. I don't watch TV, but the very fact that the Philips corporation lacked the ethics and morality to kill this project before its fruition causes me to be unspeakably angry.

I CALL FOR THE BOYCOTT OF ALL PHILIPS PRODUCTS UNTIL THIS TECHNOLOGY IS BANNED.

For more information, follow these links:

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn9011&feedId=online-news_rss20

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12407199/

[[Techno-Savant out]]

Like, DUDE, that is so not nice!

The English Beat - I Just Can't Stop It - Mirror In The Bathroom

7

truth itself becomes suspicious

I don't have much time! I can only stay and say a few words!

Random
Musical
Buscuit

Whew. Now I have places to go, minds to twist and values to warp.

Siouxsie And The Banshees - Kaleidoscope - Desert Kisses

7

and they shall run free in the streets

I found out a while back that the product "Spray 'N Wash" will actually get BLOOD out of CLOTHING. This is tremendously awesome. Don't ask how I came to need to know this.

I also bought a rocket launcher. We're not talking about one of those cheap plastic water-jet things that you get at the toy store. I'm referring to an anti-tank rocket launcher. However, the downside is that the "Happy Rocket Refill Pack (10)" has been discontinued for sale because of "security reasons."

Which means: there goes my plan to rocket each person who's too lazy to get out of their car and ring the doorbell, and instead honks until the appropriate person arrives. On the plus side, I'll have plenty of time between rockets to lovingly inscribe "Bite Me" on each of the ATRs.

And now we will have a line dedicated to those who understand my nom-de-guerre game-reference: "ROCKET! (GARBAGE) ROCKET! (GARBAGE) ROCKET! (GARBAGE)"

INXS - Shabooh Shoobah - Don't Change

7

quoth znarkum fork

Which is what I'm drinking right now. Turkish.

Anyhow, I'm just catching up with life. Every time I seem to get something done, another event decides it needs my attention. Hopefully the bowl of coffee will enable me to triumph over all obstacles today.

In addition, I've also added two more blogs to my list of favorites, even though they've been in my Blogstream life for a while. We welcome Raven, and his blog "Ramblings Of An Old Soul," which is mostly well-thought out, lyrical poetry. We also welcome Kristin, whose humorous blog includes pictures of her cute pet parrot, cat, and an exploding manatee. And of course you can check the "my fav blogs" to find more talented bloggers residing here at Blogstream.

I need a keyboard long and wide enough to surf the Internet. I mean, I've got a little one and a half footer here, how in the world am I supposed to keep my balance? And don't even get me started about the kelp accumulation.

Peter Gabriel - Shaking The Tree - Games Without Frontiers

7

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa