You people do realize that when we finally get cybernetic limbs (as in what you see in science fiction movies) their actual usage will be confounded by greed and incompetence.

For example, this is me in the future. Through some terrible accident or another, I've had to have my left arm replaced by a hunk of neuro-sensitive metal.

But of course, this being Earth, populated by *humans*, the very same *humans* that provide you Microsoft, AOL, and the concepts of spam, unlimited advertising, and finally - *frivolous lawsuits*, we find ourselves experiencing a totally different reality than the one provided by Hollywood. Let's take a look-see, shall we?

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Activation! What would you like to grab today?

{Seven (Thoughts transmitted to cybernetic arm)}: I need to put that muffin on that plate.

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Please sign the End-User Lisence Agreement.

{Seven (Using remaining arm)}: Right. There. (Thinks: Now pick up that muffin and put it on the plate.)

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Commencing search and seizure of muffin.

{Seven}: Any day now.

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Muffin found.

{Seven (Thought transmission to arm)}: Right! Now pick up the muffin!

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Muffin obtained.

{Seven (Thought transmission to arm)}: Great. Now move it over to the plate!

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Commencing search parameter for 'plate.'

{Seven}: You know what a plate looks like!

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Plate found.

{Seven (Thought transmission to arm)}: Now put the muffin on the plate!

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Commencing Operation: Muffin Transportation.

{Seven}: You don't need to tell me that! Just move the freaking muffin! What's taking you so long?!

{Microsoft ARM-HELPR-L}: Critical service failure. Please contact Microsoft if you are experiencing technical difficulties. Program (Operation: Muffin Transportation) halted.

{Seven}: Oh yeah?! Let's see how you like orange juice, Mr. Critical System Error!

[[Several hours later, at Seven's place of work.]]

{Boss}: Say, Seven, it looks like your cybernetic arm is attempting to shove a muffin into your left ear.



As for creating genuine AI like "The Architect" in the Matrix, or "Data" from Star Trek, I just don't see it happening.

Apoptygma Berzerk - Welcome To Earth - Fade To Black

7 <-----I need a Borg Emoticon.

They're everywhere, I tell you. They could be victims, they could be lazy, but whatever the case, your Congressional representatives are everywhere you look nowadays.

Out of all probability, I'm going to run into one eventually. I can practically see the conversation now.

Congressperson: (waving a cheeseburger in my face) "You did this!"

Seven: (looking confused) "But I...."

Congressperson: "You did this!"

Seven: "I don't work at ________ (fast food chain of choice)"

Congressperson: "YOU DID THIS!"

Seven: ...... "Do you need some whiskey?

Congressperson: "I thought you'd never ask."

This concludes my public service announcement for the day. Just remember, if you see your local elected representative out on the street, don't make eye contact. Or just offer them the whiskey up front and get it over with.

Beastie Boys - The Sounds Of Science - Shake Your Rump

7

As many of you will have probably noticed by now, I'm one of those guys who makes "rounds" of comments, rather than just being omnipresent. However, since I am balantantly anti-mainstream, I just call them "squares."

I really need to pay more attention, and have a routine for every day. This will probably happen soon, so don't worry!

Pet Shop Boys - Discography - It's A Sin

7

It was a fairly dry yesterday, highly conducive towards the ability to drive about 200 miles in one day.

I visited my brother in Corvallis, and if you're going to use Google Maps to find that, I live in Hillsboro. Please note that when the map comes up of the area, there's this GARGANTUAN stretch of highway between us.

Anyhow, while I was down there, and discussing the concept of "sleep" with my brother, he handed me a packet of these little blue pills. It was, of course, a friendly gesture, and I did inquire as to the status of his stockpiles. Because I am not one to deprive anybody else of their well-earned and paid-for supplies. As it turns out, my brother only uses a quarter of a pill per night (half of a half) to go to sleep - and he had a whole box.

Well, when I get home, I think to myself, "I know that body chemistries are really different, especially between me and my brother. I think that instead of a quarter, I'll just have a whole pill. Considering that I take two Excedrin(r) PM(tm) pills, I figure, just for starters, I'll have one of these."

I took one them at around 1 AM, and I woke up at almost 1 PM, and all four of my pillows were missing. That's right folks. I SLEPT SO LONG AND HARD I WOKE UP IN THE WRONG JOKE.

Wow. I'm going to have to reserve these pills for some serious R.E.M.s.

The Epoxies - Stop The Future - The Robot Man

7

Sorry folks, for not being around as often as I should. I actually got more hours at work! Yay!

But it involves armadillos. Lots of HEAVILY MUTATED armadillos. And their recalcitrant position to be omnipresently annoying at my place of work. *Someone* has to evict them.

So I casually don my super-policeman costume, my jet-pack, and let my devil-may care attitude come forth, and I hustle out HEAVILY MUTATED armadillos.

I can see that you are all held in rapt attention. So we will simply post more quotes of what I have actually said in the past:

"Ohhh. I remember those days. It was as if the taste of scotch tape would never run out. Boy was I young and foolish. Now we have that cheaper, no good duct stuff. What the hell happened to the beautiful American Scotch tape? Probably bought up by China!"

PTI - Exhaust - Condemnation [MindFluxFuneral Abomination]

7