(Note: This is an account from having watched the CCTV recording later on. I can't say I remember this.)

This morning I was exercising my mind over matter. Anya walked over to the table in her lovely birthday suit, where I sat in stern concentration. I was hovering all of two inches away from a single Oreo. Already, Anya can see that the explanation is going to be a good one. "Okay, what are you doing?"

I pointed to the Oreo, not moving my head a millimeter. "I will rearrange these letters on this Oreo to spell 'Ooer' using the sheer force of my mind."

Anya wasted no time grabbing a bowl of salad, a slab of ham, and a stein of grape juice (for breakfast?!) and sat opposite of me. She watched as I stared at the Oreo. Fast forwarding through the video, breakfast was soon gone. Anya began to fidget in her chair, staring at the wall clock roughly every three minutes.

At about 1:00 PM, Anya's face was a mix of frustration and boredom. Had I bothered to raise my head away from the cookie, I would have seen her raise her right fist up high. "I love you, dearie."

The resulting sound was a combination of a gunshot and a resounding coconut as my head smashed against the table. Evidently, I was still conscious. I stood up so fast the chair flew out from behind me. I pointed victoriously at the Oreo, "I did it! I DID IT! IT SAYS OOER!" And then I ran into the refrigerator that I apparently couldn't see. Anya scooped me up off the floor, sat me back down in my chair with my head on the table, put an ice pack on my head, and then started brewing her favorite coffee.


Bee Gees - Greatest - More Than A Woman

7

i know i'm right, i can feel it in my pants