I'm terribly sorry for not keeping everybody up to date. I got approximately two hours of sleep in last night before Anya woke me up by sinking ten claws into my rib cage and howling the howl of a werewolf in labor.

What proceeded was another ten hours of the man attempting to comfort the woman in a completely unsuccessful manner. I earned some "lover's points" by supplying hot towels and letting her crush my hands. I lost an entire table, because I gave her the legs for her to bite down on. It was either that or my arms. Considering that she snapped through all four - one for each major contraction, I think the cost of a table was worth it.

Now, all you established parents out there, you know what it's like. Those Normal Rockwell-esque pictures showing a happy, clean, sweatless new mother holding her clean, almost-shiny baby is an absolute freaking LIE. I think the movie "Freddy VS Jason" had less screaming and less blood.

But, there is that moment of beauty. The moment when you can embrace your mate with your broken hands, she's winding down - covered in blood and sweat - and there's that moment of oblivious happiness as your new mother is nursing your eight children, and both of you drift in and out of consciousness. Her - from CHILDBIRTH - and you - because despite the fact you were not physically involved, it still is freaking stressful and you've had no sleep.

Four boys, four girls. They weigh about a pound apiece. I made a weak comment about while although we didn't get "seven," we did get the "darker," but it turns out that this is just their baby fur, and they'll develop their lighter colors as they grow.

I believe I only got up once in the twelve hours that followed to get food for myself and Anya.


Enigma - Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi - The Child In Us (Anya adores this album and the flow of the music - I highly recommend it)

7

i have anya smack me around with a pillowcase filled with one hundred dollar bills